Jibber Jabber - Q1 - 29

If I recall, lobsters don't actually scream. There's just a lot of water trapped in their shells and as it turns to steam it escapes. . . more of a teakettle thing than anything.

Still you can understand why this would be disturbing, and I don't care if it's delicious, I've never been comfortable with the idea of boiling anything alive.

This seems oddly off-topic. Unless you account for the fact that sci-fi loves to spin up freaky delicacies.

You might be right, I'm not an expert on exactly how lobsters scream... Still, when in doubt about who or what experiences pain I always like to encourage humanity to err on the side of, er, humanity. <img src="

As for off topic, I'm the queen of off topic and random gatorliness!

Edited to add commiserations for the latest round of rejections. It's always alarming when good people get taken down.

Make that 50 out of c.100 and 12 out of 50.

Welcome aboard, AAravam. It's sad when your first post is a rejection report, but don't let this get you down. Better luck next time!

Agreed. And now you can get it to another market and keep on going!

You might be right, I'm not an expert on exactly how lobsters scream... Still, when in doubt about who or what experiences pain I always like to encourage humanity to err on the side of, er, humanity. <img src="

Gators don't boil their lobsters, they just drag them underwater and hold them there until they drown. (Or is that crocs?)

Since lobsters can breathe underwater, this process is long and frustrating for the gator.

Since lobsters can breathe underwater, this process is long and frustrating for the gator.

You might have known from my signature that I prefer this kind of humor.

Stewart, too? Sorry, you three. Rather shocking to see them come in that fast.

No sympathy needed--the story was barely 1000 words and didn't actually have an ending, so...

Sorry you guys--but I know you'll all keep truckin’ along.

And the rest of you--with your battlefield play-by-plays, and response bar graphs, and stats...

Have I told you lately that I love you?

Baker is so thoughtful to take one for the WOTF team. He took a chance in the name of knowledge and now we all know that flash without endings will probably not win the contest. Annie went last quarter showing us that unicorns who murder pregnant women: also not a win.

Keep the experiments going guys! We WILL narrow this down. I'm working on my flaming disaster too. I'll let you know at the next quarter results if my experiment panned out or not....

Also I'm with Marina, the charts and graphs are keeping my statistical loving heart beating.

I'm sorry about all who got taken out in that last volley. I'm expecting to step on a land mine at any moment myself.

I had to put my coffee down while reading all the activity from last night--it made me laugh hard. I'll say it again, this is the best group of people on the internet, and the most supportive. Even in the midst of severe enemy fire you all know how to keep your heads up and move on.

This forum often provides the spark and humor I need to just get through some of the brutal work days I've had of late.

OOooOOooooohhh! Charts and data and bar graphs, oh my!

Very cool, Grayson. Thanks! And even cooler because this quarter seems to be following last quarter so closely, which means...*drumroll* that we might see some HMs before this wave is done.

*wraps chart in pink tissue paper and places it under her pillow*

For your rejectomancing pleasure:

(image address:http://www.graysonbraymorris.com/img/QResultsChartQ4Q1.jpg.)

Where "Result Type" translates to:

1 = R
2 = HM
3 = SF
4 = Finalist got called

Data culled from the threads here (thanks to David Steffen's results-only threads, this is muuuuuuch easier for Q1v29 than for Q4v28). Note I didn't continue on after finalist calls/semis found out; some rejections and HMs came out later than that. Also note some Rs came out in the HM rounds, too. Last but not least, for our paper submitters: based on KD's post in her sff.net group last Nov. 13 (results day 24 of that quarter), HMs started coming out before she even began reading the hardcopy submissions.

Today is day 19 for this quarter. I leave you all to pounce on the data and froth forth predictions and analyses.

Condolences to those who went out in the last volley. I am on pins and needles to see who nabs HMs, Semis, and Finalists this time around. I must admit, it is less stressful to already be out of the running. I can watch and cheer from the sidelines.

Even in the midst of severe enemy fire you all know how to keep your heads up and move on.

This forum often provides the spark and humor I need to just get through some of the brutal work days I've had of late.

Maybe we should be keeping our heads up, but not up too far, as these trenches are only so deep.

Ok, time to call cadence. March' em on out and join right in:

"I don't know, but I've been told,
Rejectomancy never gets old."

"Writer, writer turning green,
Duotrope whizzed in his canteen."

"Standing tall among the dead,
Cuz paper subs just ain't been read."

"I want to win; I'm up all night,
Martin says Just write, write, write!"

"Quarter two is winding down,
Git 'er done or be a clown."

"Niven really likes sci-fi,
Spaceships flyin' in the sky."

Just checked my email, it appears that I'm still in.

Baker is so thoughtful to take one for the WOTF team. He took a chance in the name of knowledge and now we all know that flash without endings will probably not win the contest. Annie went last quarter showing us that unicorns who murder pregnant women: also not a win.

Keep the experiments going guys! We WILL narrow this down. I'm working on my flaming disaster too. I'll let you know at the next quarter results if my experiment panned out or not....

Also I'm with Marina, the charts and graphs are keeping my statistical loving heart beating.

Psychopaths and self-surgery....also not a win.

I'm still in as well, though Duotrope says that the latest submission reported was December 28 and I definitely sent mine right before going out for a New Year's celebration, so I could just be in the yet-to-be-looked-at-last-minute pile.

Also, good to know lobsters don't scream. That always bothered me. And is there is a similar law against crabs?

"Writer, writer turning green,
Duotrope whizzed in his canteen."

Whoops, that reminds me--I haven't reported my rejection yet! Now I've screwed up Grayson's lovely charts...

Psychopaths and self-surgery....also not a win.

Reminds me of the stories my urologist told me about urologists (and others) who decided to perform their own vasectomy... Short version: not such a great idea.

Psychopaths and self-surgery....also not a win.

Reminds me of the stories my urologist told me about urologists (and others) who decided to perform their own vasectomy... Short version: not such a great idea.

A short version in more ways than one. Yikes!

Ok, time to call cadence. March' em on out and join right in:

"I don't know, but I've been told,
Rejectomancy never gets old."

"Writer, writer turning green,
Duotrope whizzed in his canteen."

"Standing tall among the dead,
Cuz paper subs just ain't been read."

"I want to win; I'm up all night,
Martin says Just write, write, write!"

"Quarter two is winding down,
Git 'er done or be a clown."

"Niven really likes sci-fi,
Spaceships flyin' in the sky."

Kary you're awesome. I feel so blessed to have met you.

Ok, time to call cadence. March' em on out and join right in:

"I don't know, but I've been told,
Rejectomancy never gets old."

"Writer, writer turning green,
Duotrope whizzed in his canteen."

"Standing tall among the dead,
Cuz paper subs just ain't been read."

"I want to win; I'm up all night,
Martin says Just write, write, write!"

"Quarter two is winding down,
Git 'er done or be a clown."

"Niven really likes sci-fi,
Spaceships flyin' in the sky."

Love it! =)

Days like this, I get pissed off whenever anyone emails me and makes my heart skip a beat when I see that blinking (1) on my Gmail tab. Oh well.

Ok, time to call cadence. March' em on out and join right in:

"I don't know, but I've been told,
Rejectomancy never gets old."

"Writer, writer turning green,
Duotrope whizzed in his canteen."

"Standing tall among the dead,
Cuz paper subs just ain't been read."

"I want to win; I'm up all night,
Martin says Just write, write, write!"

"Quarter two is winding down,
Git 'er done or be a clown."

"Niven really likes sci-fi,
Spaceships flyin' in the sky."

Somebody has too much time and energy. And wit.

Days like this, I get pissed off whenever anyone emails me and makes my heart skip a beat when I see that blinking (1) on my Gmail tab. Oh well.

This is why you should sign up for multiple ailing lists like living social and writer's digest and groupon so that you receive 100 emails a day and become desensitized to any new mail....like me

Ailing lists. Touche'.

You might be right, I'm not an expert on exactly how lobsters scream... Still, when in doubt about who or what experiences pain I always like to encourage humanity to err on the side of, er, humanity. <img src="

Gators don't boil their lobsters, they just drag them underwater and hold them there until they drown. (Or is that crocs?)

Since lobsters can breathe underwater, this process is long and frustrating for the gator.

Firstly, there aren't very many lobsters in the swamp. Secondly, if there were I would swallow them with one gulp. Problem solved!

Stewart, too? Sorry, you three. Rather shocking to see them come in that fast.

No sympathy needed--the story was barely 1000 words and didn't actually have an ending, so...

Ah well, there you are then. So I guess I won't submit my 500 word humorous alligator story. It does have an ending though, a rather fine one... (Insert evil devilish emoticon here)

Stewart, too? Sorry, you three. Rather shocking to see them come in that fast.

No sympathy needed--the story was barely 1000 words and didn't actually have an ending, so...

Ah well, there you are then. So I guess I won't submit my 500 word humorous alligator story. It does have an ending though, a rather fine one... (Insert evil devilish emoticon here)

I have yet to hear back on my story: 16,999 wds and all of it ending--no set-up, no Frietag's triangle, no climax, just straight-up ending. It ties off loose ends of plot strands that don't even exist. The reader is left to infer everything that preceded it, including who the characters are and what they are doing in said story. It is, I think, the wave of the future. But we'll see whether KD agrees or not.

Well *I* have a story that's all middle. Events and people you know nothing about, doing things that have no apparent effect or purpose. Nothing is explained, nothing is tied up. It begins and ends half way through a sentence.

I call it _in the Time of_. I mean, if you can't infer "Love" and "Cholera" from that, then you're just not my target audience.

Well *I* have a story that's all middle. Events and people you know nothing about, doing things that have no apparent effect or purpose. Nothing is explained, nothing is tied up. It begins and ends half way through a sentence.

That reminds me of...

SPOILERS FOR PINK FLOYD'S "THE WALL" AND STEPHEN KING'S "THE DARK TOWER"

I heard a radio show about the latest rerelease of Pink Floyd's "The Wall". They said that in the new master, you can hear the voice-over that was garbled in earlier versions. Just two bits of voice-over: at the very start of the album, the narrator says, "-- we come in." And at the very end of the album, the narrator says, "This is where --".

And then the album (in concept) repeats. After all that sturm und drang, nothing has changed, he's back where he started. It's a sisyphean hell, never to end.

And that, of course, reminds me of "The Dark Tower", which also begins with the hero back at the beginning of the book. In a brief afterword, King says (paraphrased), "That's the way it is, so don't bother writing to complain." My mom, who read everything the man wrote up to that point, threw the book across the room and has never read another word by him.

I gave up on the Dark tower after the robot wolves.

I gave up on the Dark tower after the robot wolves.

I had no problem with the robot wolves. When he wrote HIMSELF into the story, though, he lost me. I finished reading the series, but was SO disappointed. Talk about a cop-out ending. IMHO.

I gave up on the Dark tower after the robot wolves.

I had no problem with the robot wolves. When he wrote HIMSELF into the story, though, he lost me. I finished reading the series, but was SO disappointed. Talk about a cop-out ending. IMHO.

I agree. I listened to the books during my long commute. Would not have been able to read them! Too frustrating, but they provided a nice distraction from all the aggro drivers on the road.

The series started with so much promise, I thought...and then it lost me.