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Discussion: Q1 Volume 38

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Reuben
(@reuben)
Bronze Star Member
Posts: 216

I can't get past my third scene. I've written it five times now, each time anew, but it's never memorable or original enough for me. It just ends up as cliche dialog to me that works to move on with the story. Oh well.

Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm ~ Winston Churchill
V37: R, R, R, HM
V38: SHM

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Posted : November 13, 2020 1:32 am
RETreasure
(@rschibler)
Gold Member
Posts: 752

Dave had a newsletter this past week with some really great ways to strengthen a scene. Might be worth checking out!

V34: R,HM,R
V35: HM,R,R,HM
V36: R,HM,HM,SHM
V37: HM,SF,SHM,SHM
V38: F, SHM, P, P
Available for critiques - PM for availability.
www.rebeccaetreasure.com

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Posted : November 13, 2020 1:47 am
Dustin Adams
(@axeminister)
Gold Star Member
Posts: 1004

I can't get past my third scene. I've written it five times now, each time anew, but it's never memorable or original enough for me. It just ends up as cliche dialog to me that works to move on with the story. Oh well.

Reuben,

E-mail me. Tell me the set up of the scene, then attach it. I know it's not the whole story, but maybe I can help get you unstuck. Worst that happens is I can't. wotf005

There's a particular how-to I read frequently. It says, "stuck? It's probably this." I'm paraphrasing. But each time I smack my forehead, fix, and move on.

Although we mostly deal with openings in the 450 forum, I will post my non-specific thoughts there and maybe together we'll figure it out!

2x Finalist
2x Semi
6x Silver
9x HM
1 of 6 SilverHM. 1 of 3 DSF: Short Stories. My Finalist #1 Finalist #2 coming soon in 4th & Starlight

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Topic starter Posted : November 13, 2020 3:09 am
Dustin Adams
(@axeminister)
Gold Star Member
Posts: 1004

We are at the 1/2 way point for the quarter.

6 weeks to polish your draft.
Or
6 weeks to draft!

2x Finalist
2x Semi
6x Silver
9x HM
1 of 6 SilverHM. 1 of 3 DSF: Short Stories. My Finalist #1 Finalist #2 coming soon in 4th & Starlight

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Topic starter Posted : November 16, 2020 3:15 am
IStanhope
(@istanhope)
Active Member
Posts: 15

What's the general impression on nonlinear storytelling? I'm almost finished with my Q1 story, but now I'm thinking...what if I rearrange the scenes a little? I think it will generate more tension, but I wonder if it will come across as gimmicky.

SHM x2
HM x1

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Posted : November 25, 2020 3:50 am
Reuben
(@reuben)
Bronze Star Member
Posts: 216

I'm doing it for mine, partially. I've heard that "Dave prefers linear storytelling, but he's open to new ideas."

Among the volumes I've read during is tenure, V33 has two nonlinear stories, V35 definitely has at least one. I can't remember others, although I know that Kary English's finalist (h https://grantvillegazette.com/article/publish-587 ) is nonlinear--the whole thing is told as a flashback.

Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm ~ Winston Churchill
V37: R, R, R, HM
V38: SHM

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Posted : November 25, 2020 5:29 am
IStanhope
(@istanhope)
Active Member
Posts: 15

I'm doing it for mine, partially. I've heard that "Dave prefers linear storytelling, but he's open to new ideas."

Among the volumes I've read during is tenure, V33 has two nonlinear stories, V35 definitely has at least one. I can't remember others, although I know that Kary English's finalist (h https://grantvillegazette.com/article/publish-587 ) is nonlinear--the whole thing is told as a flashback.

Thank you! I'll keep that in mind. Also, thanks for the link. I really enjoyed reading that.

SHM x2
HM x1

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Posted : November 25, 2020 11:53 am
AlexH
(@alexh)
Silver Member
Posts: 255

I finally feel I'm making headway on my entry. I was working on two other stories but hardly getting anywhere (or nowhere in the case of one of them). So I've returned to one of the first stories I wrote, over 10 years ago! I always liked the idea, and it's been bubbling over in my head on and off for a couple of years. It was a 700-word-flash back then, and I've already passed that in my first scene and a half.

I hope everyone is doing okay. Every quarter seems to get tougher for me in the past year or so, so here's some encouragement from my way. 🙂

35: - R R R | 36: R HM R R | 37: HM HM HM SHM | 38: HM HM

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Posted : November 27, 2020 6:51 pm
TimE
 TimE
(@time)
Silver Member
Posts: 338

Plenty of humour in mine, so i know i've no chance. But I'm enjoying writing it.

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Posted : November 27, 2020 8:16 pm
babooher
(@babooher)
Bronze Star Member
Posts: 119

I finally think I hit on my idea for this quarter. I just need to finish a revision I'm working on first.

2012 Q4: R
2016 Q3: SHM
2019 Q2: HM, Q3: HM
2020 Q2: HM, Q4: SHM
2021 Q1: HM, Q2: SF, Q3: Waiting, Q4: WIP

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Posted : November 30, 2020 6:52 am
Dustin Adams
(@axeminister)
Gold Star Member
Posts: 1004

Plenty of humour in mine, so i know i've no chance. But I'm enjoying writing it.

Humor is super tough. Especially in short stories. But it can be done! V.31 had two humorous tales.

What is humor most times but defying expectation? By the time we set it up to defy it, we've got too many words.

Thor 3 wouldn't have been as funny without Thor 1 and 2. Now he's all about the humor being the easiest to defy our expectations.
Fantasy? How about a sensitive dwarf? Nope. ABD.

Look at The God Whisperer:
When Jack got home from work on Thursday, he found a pyramid made of bird skulls in his flowerbed. Zu'ar--ancient god of death, strive, and war--must have gotten out of the yard again.

I once saw a SF crit where Dave mentioned wanting more belly laughs. With humor it's go big or go home. Little chuckles are OK in an otherwise serious story, but if you go humor, go all out. wotf001

And of course if you're enjoying writing it, then all the better!

2x Finalist
2x Semi
6x Silver
9x HM
1 of 6 SilverHM. 1 of 3 DSF: Short Stories. My Finalist #1 Finalist #2 coming soon in 4th & Starlight

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Topic starter Posted : December 1, 2020 3:28 am
Reuben
(@reuben)
Bronze Star Member
Posts: 216

I'm finally almost finished my draft. Funny how it seems to get harder with each quarter. I originally wanted to write two WotF worthy stories this quarter, oh well... wotf002

Actually, how it happened was that I got strep, which finally gave the few hours I needed. wotf007

Anyone up for a read? I would sent it in two days or so after some revision. I'll of course be happy to return the favor.

Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm ~ Winston Churchill
V37: R, R, R, HM
V38: SHM

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Posted : December 1, 2020 1:04 pm
RETreasure
(@rschibler)
Gold Member
Posts: 752

Always, if you’d like my feedback. As of right now my queue is empty.

V34: R,HM,R
V35: HM,R,R,HM
V36: R,HM,HM,SHM
V37: HM,SF,SHM,SHM
V38: F, SHM, P, P
Available for critiques - PM for availability.
www.rebeccaetreasure.com

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Posted : December 1, 2020 2:01 pm
TimE
 TimE
(@time)
Silver Member
Posts: 338

I once saw a SF crit where Dave mentioned wanting more belly laughs. With humor it's go big or go home. Little chuckles are OK in an otherwise serious story, but if you go humor, go all out.

Belly laughs are unlikely. Better that I keep my results expectations low.

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Posted : December 1, 2020 7:40 pm
Reuben
(@reuben)
Bronze Star Member
Posts: 216

Always, if you’d like my feedback. As of right now my queue is empty.

Thanks! I'll send it over soon. It's high fantasy, around 6k

Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm ~ Winston Churchill
V37: R, R, R, HM
V38: SHM

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Posted : December 2, 2020 10:26 am
C.A.Tedeschi
(@c-a-tedeschi)
Active Member
Posts: 23

I've finally finished it. I just need to get some eyes on it. I put a request for a crit exchange in the forum, nothing yet. I don't really want to submit it without a few read throughs of the finished work. I've learned, Feedback is invaluable....

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Posted : December 3, 2020 10:58 pm
crlisle
(@crlisle)
Silver Member
Posts: 260

I'm available C.A. Tedeschi. I will PM you with my email address. Have you read it out loud yet? I found that reading my stories out loud is vital to finding mistakes and to see what the pacing is like.

2020 Quarters: 1st -- R, 2nd -- HM, 3rd -- HM, 4th -- SHM
2021 Quarters: 1st -- HM, 2nd -- HM, 3rd -- Pending, 4th -- Pending
"Invasion" to be published in Daily Science Fiction
"The Last Dance" to be published Feb. 2022 in the LTUE Anthology, Parliament of Wizards
"My Ten Cents" published in Sci Fi Lampoon, vol. 2, Dec. 2020
"Never give up. Never surrender." - Galaxy Quest

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Posted : December 4, 2020 7:46 am
IStanhope
(@istanhope)
Active Member
Posts: 15

I've finally finished it. I just need to get some eyes on it. I put a request for a crit exchange in the forum, nothing yet. I don't really want to submit it without a few read throughs of the finished work. I've learned, Feedback is invaluable....

I'm available for a critique exchange. Feel free to PM me if you haven't found someone yet.

SHM x2
HM x1

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Posted : December 4, 2020 1:06 pm
CCrawford
(@ccrawford)
Bronze Star Member
Posts: 225

I'm in for Q1! I feel weird having submitted so early, but I completely rewrote the thing (again) and now I was at the point where I was just moving commas around and changing my wording and then changing it back again, so that's usually my sign that the story is about to riot or self-combust if I do any more editing on it. Lol.

v35: Q4 - HM
V36: R, R, R, R
V37: SHM, HM, HM, SHM
V38: SHM, HM, ??
Indie author of The Lex Chronicles (Legends of Arameth), and the in-progress Leyward Stones series--including my serial, Macchiatos, Faerie Princes, and Other Things That Happen at Midnight, currently available on the new Kindle Vella platform. The Vella story is also available through my Patreon, along with side stories, behind the scenes content, and in-progress drafts of other books from my Leyward Stones world.
Website: http://ccrawfordwriting.com. I also have a newsletter and a blog!
Short story "Our Kind" published in DreamForge Anvil, Issue #5!

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Posted : December 15, 2020 1:18 pm
Disgruntled Peony
(@disgruntledpeony)
Gold Star Member
Posts: 1122

I'm in for Q1! I feel weird having submitted so early, but I completely rewrote the thing (again) and now I was at the point where I was just moving commas around and changing my wording and then changing it back again, so that's usually my sign that the story is about to riot or self-combust if I do any more editing on it. Lol.

Great job!

If you are in difficulties with a book, try the element of surprise: attack it at an hour when it isn't expecting it. ~ H.G. Wells
R, SF, SHM, SHM, SHM, F, R, HM, SHM, R, HM, R, F, SHM, SHM, SHM, SF, SHM, 1st Place (Q2 V38)
Ticknor Tales

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Posted : December 15, 2020 10:40 pm
TimE
 TimE
(@time)
Silver Member
Posts: 338

I have 1200 pages of Rhythm of War to read in 4w and the latest Hunger Games book to pick up and read that also. So, just as well, mine is ready to submit. I'm trying to let the paint dry without putting fingerprints all over it. Mine doesn't quite compare to Sanderson.

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Posted : December 16, 2020 12:47 am
LDWriter2
(@ldwriter2)
Gold Star Member
Posts: 1267

Hello It's been many months since I have been here. The web site would not let me back on. I tried sending in requests for help and most were not responded to, for a period not time I forgot. Joni evidently got one of them. Anyway I want to say that I wrote a story and I just need to revise it. Actually I didn't think about sending it in until a couple days when I was thinking of the next and realized, hey it's December the end of a quarter. I need to get revising.

Working on turning Lead into Gold.
Four HMs From WotF
The latest was Q1'12
HM-quarter 4 Volume 32
One HM for another contest
published in Strange New Worlds Ten.
Another HM http://onthepremises.com/minis/mini_18.html

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Posted : December 17, 2020 3:43 am
Dustin Adams
(@axeminister)
Gold Star Member
Posts: 1004

Hi Louis!

Indeed - a new user ID is all it takes. Smile

2x Finalist
2x Semi
6x Silver
9x HM
1 of 6 SilverHM. 1 of 3 DSF: Short Stories. My Finalist #1 Finalist #2 coming soon in 4th & Starlight

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Topic starter Posted : December 17, 2020 4:03 am
LDWriter2
(@ldwriter2)
Gold Star Member
Posts: 1267

I tried both of my E-mail addresses and they each said they were in use already.

Working on turning Lead into Gold.
Four HMs From WotF
The latest was Q1'12
HM-quarter 4 Volume 32
One HM for another contest
published in Strange New Worlds Ten.
Another HM http://onthepremises.com/minis/mini_18.html

ReplyQuote
Posted : December 17, 2020 6:16 am
empressed
(@empressed)
Bronze Star Member
Posts: 131

Plenty of humour in mine, so i know i've no chance. But I'm enjoying writing it.

Humor is super tough. Especially in short stories. But it can be done! V.31 had two humorous tales.

What is humor most times but defying expectation? By the time we set it up to defy it, we've got too many words.

Thor 3 wouldn't have been as funny without Thor 1 and 2. Now he's all about the humor being the easiest to defy our expectations.
Fantasy? How about a sensitive dwarf? Nope. ABD.

Look at The God Whisperer:
When Jack got home from work on Thursday, he found a pyramid made of bird skulls in his flowerbed. Zu'ar--ancient god of death, strive, and war--must have gotten out of the yard again.

I once saw a SF crit where Dave mentioned wanting more belly laughs. With humor it's go big or go home. Little chuckles are OK in an otherwise serious story, but if you go humor, go all out. wotf001

And of course if you're enjoying writing it, then all the better!

Hey, Tim, good to see you again! One of the things I loved about the Moon's story is that it's full of humor and warmth and then it rips your guts out. That is one of the secrets. (Sorry, Moon, I forget the number.) Humor is not a no-go. It can be an effective tool.

Victoria Dixon
Author of Mourn Their Courage
a 2010 Sandy Writing Contest Finalist
A Tribble Ate My Lunch: a Star Trek Cookbook (unpublished)
R=22
HM= 6
SHM=1
Finalist=1

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Posted : December 20, 2020 5:22 am
LDWriter2
(@ldwriter2)
Gold Star Member
Posts: 1267

Just wanted to say that I had another story ready for this quarter. I had sent it in already but I figured another critiquing might help it-maybe. But then I forgot about sending in any story, probably because I got busy with the Wotf workshop. Then I realized this month was the end of the quarter-duh. So if I can get someone to look over the new story I decided to send that one in.

Working on turning Lead into Gold.
Four HMs From WotF
The latest was Q1'12
HM-quarter 4 Volume 32
One HM for another contest
published in Strange New Worlds Ten.
Another HM http://onthepremises.com/minis/mini_18.html

ReplyQuote
Posted : December 20, 2020 8:19 am
babooher
(@babooher)
Bronze Star Member
Posts: 119

LouisD, do you need someone to look over a story? I can if you do.

2012 Q4: R
2016 Q3: SHM
2019 Q2: HM, Q3: HM
2020 Q2: HM, Q4: SHM
2021 Q1: HM, Q2: SF, Q3: Waiting, Q4: WIP

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Posted : December 20, 2020 1:11 pm
dommichaels
(@dommichaels)
Advanced Member
Posts: 30

Just submitted my Q1 entry. It was a rollercoaster, leaving me pretty wrung-out. Took some big risks with it, so my expectations aren't high, but it's the only way to get better.

V37 Q3 - HM, V37 Q4 - HM, V38 Q1 - HM, V38 Q2 - HM

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Posted : December 21, 2020 7:24 am
LDWriter2
(@ldwriter2)
Gold Star Member
Posts: 1267

LouisD, do you need someone to look over a story? I can if you do.

Yes, I do about 4,500 words long.

Working on turning Lead into Gold.
Four HMs From WotF
The latest was Q1'12
HM-quarter 4 Volume 32
One HM for another contest
published in Strange New Worlds Ten.
Another HM http://onthepremises.com/minis/mini_18.html

ReplyQuote
Posted : December 21, 2020 2:30 pm
amstard
(@amstard)
New Member
Posts: 4

Just submitted for this quarter! All my readers say this is my best offering yet. Here's hoping! Smile

Jason P. Crawford
Author of Urban Fantasy and Sci-Fi (for now!)
Q3 V31: HM
Award-Winning Novel Chains of Prophecy available at all major retailers!

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Posted : December 21, 2020 4:54 pm
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