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Help needed with HM story

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Todd Jones
(@toddjones)
Posts: 515
Gold Star Member
Topic starter
 
I have a story that received an HM and is roughly 5,100 words.
 
I need help figuring out what I missed so I can make it a better story.

If you are interested in reading it and giving me a clue of what I missed, please PM me.

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right."~ Henry Ford
2024 - V41 - Q1-RWC, Q2-Final draft, Q3-WIP (trying not to blow it up and start over)
2023 - V40 - Q1-HM, Q2-HM, Q3-R, Q4-HM
2022 - V39 - Q1-SHM, Q2-HM, Q3-SF, Q4-HM
2021 - V38 - Q4-HM
2020 - V37 - Q2-R

 
Posted : May 16, 2023 11:40 am
Cherrie reacted
Todd Jones
(@toddjones)
Posts: 515
Gold Star Member
Topic starter
 

I already have someone interested in helping.

This forum is great.

 

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right."~ Henry Ford
2024 - V41 - Q1-RWC, Q2-Final draft, Q3-WIP (trying not to blow it up and start over)
2023 - V40 - Q1-HM, Q2-HM, Q3-R, Q4-HM
2022 - V39 - Q1-SHM, Q2-HM, Q3-SF, Q4-HM
2021 - V38 - Q4-HM
2020 - V37 - Q2-R

 
Posted : May 16, 2023 11:44 am
Cherrie reacted
Spencer_S
(@spencer_s)
Posts: 153
Silver Member
 

@toddjones that's good to hear. The more eyes on it the better, I think. I'm pretty busy this week, but if you want to send it to me as well, I can look at the first 5 pages at least and give my thoughts on that.

“Stories are the collective wisdom of everyone who has ever lived. Your job as a storyteller is not simply to entertain. Nor is it to be noticed for the way your turn a phrase. You have a very important job—one of the most important. Your job is to let people know that everyone shares their feelings—and that these feelings bind us. Your job is a healing art, and like all healers, you have a responsibility. Let people know they are not alone. You must make people understand that we are all the same.”
Brian McDonald
2022: Second Place Winner V39 Q1
2021: HM, HM, SHM
2020: R
2019: SHM, R
2018: HM
2017: HM

 
Posted : May 17, 2023 6:07 am
Todd Jones
(@toddjones)
Posts: 515
Gold Star Member
Topic starter
 

Thank you all for your help. Your opinions are helping me smooth out some rough areas and order the telling more logically. Like moving puzzle pieces around to fit better. (with enough force they'll fit, regardless of shape.  haha)

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right."~ Henry Ford
2024 - V41 - Q1-RWC, Q2-Final draft, Q3-WIP (trying not to blow it up and start over)
2023 - V40 - Q1-HM, Q2-HM, Q3-R, Q4-HM
2022 - V39 - Q1-SHM, Q2-HM, Q3-SF, Q4-HM
2021 - V38 - Q4-HM
2020 - V37 - Q2-R

 
Posted : May 19, 2023 4:56 am
Cherrie and storysinger reacted
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